Writing Now and Again was a new experience for me in a lot of ways. I was publishing in a new genre, for a new audience, brushing the dust off of an old project that I hadn’t touched in years. But it was different in another way.

Let me explain.

When I published Threats of Sky and Sea, I was nervous. I mean, of course, I was nervous. I’m nervous with the publication of every book and this was my very first. I knew more people were going to read my work than ever before. More than my fanfic, more than my creative writing workshops, more than small literary magazines I’d submitted to in the past. I worried about whether readers would respond to my writing, the world I’d created, would they like the plot…? My God, the worries went on and on.

But one thing I didn’t worry about tooooo much?

My main character. Bree.

Sure, I knew Bree wouldn’t get along with everyone. Most real people don’t. But Bree is character that I think feels familiar to readers, especially those who are well-acquainted with the young adult fantasy genre.

But Em was… a little different.

First, unlike Threats of Sky and Sea, publishing Now and Again felt a little bit like letting people read my diary with regard to the walls Em throws up to protect herself. Em’s entire internal conflict is the struggle to let people in. She puts up walls that I was careful to cultivate in the telling of the novel.

I felt so worried for Em. She couldn’t let people in, so would readers let her in? Would her central character flaw, the crux of her journey alienate them entirely?

Letting your characters go is hard when the only way I could be sure she’d stay safe was if I kept her with me, safe and swaddled, like an infant. A book baby. In a way, I think that’s what took me so long to write Now and Again. I was protecting her. But I was holding onto a fear. 

I had to let her leave the nest.

And you know what? I wasn’t all wrong. Some reviewers couldn’t stand Em. They wanted to shake her, scream at her. But, you know… I don’t necessarily consider that a failure? Em is sort of meant to be polarizing that way.

And it made the reviews from readers who talked about how much they connected to Em that much more valuable. I think there’s something to be said about letting your characters go, even when you fear they aren’t entirely “likeable.”

Let

them

go.

Friends, I believe that, provided you get it out there and get eyes on it, provided you learn the lesson of letting your characters go, books will find their readers.

Can I properly put into words how it feels to have readers fall in love with a character that I’m Mama Bear-ing to death? I don’t think I can. It means so very much.

If I’d kept Em (and Cole, but really, let’s recognize whose story this is; no one was screaming about hating Cole) to myself, that would never have happened.

Do you have a character you feel protective of in that way?

Take a deep breath.

And let them meet the world.

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